D1 – Starting again, again – Harold Williams "BagBowl" Cooney

Saturday, September 5th, 2026. Studio Uncle Fish, Irmo, South Carolina.

I have no idea how many times I’ve tried to find a comfortable pattern to follow with this blog, failed, and then started again, but here we all are.

My life has two goals, and that’s what this blog is about.

Sell beads.
Go backpacking.

A simple goal that is so desperately difficult that it somehow requires this blog.

I had yet one more freak-out yesterday about my life. I deleted the fairly minimal progress that I’d made with this blog over the last week.

Last week’s version of my life and blog was also a restarting process. It came from the decision to delete everything and begin again some short and unmemorable time previous.

And before that… the same thing. Start, fail, delete. Try and find a way to communicate, understand this is not happening, and start over.

Studio Assessment

In a progressive future, there will be a link to a tour of the glass shop.

The studio where I am working, owned by a guy named Derrick. I am thankful to have a place to be. There’s a lot going on in this photo. Getting you the reader to the place where you can see that detail is the goal of this blog because that’s how customers are born.

eBay Charity Auctions

Each day, the first order of business is national service. Read about my 100% donation eBay charity auctions program, benefiting food programs around the United States, by clicking here. Link to live auctions by clicking here.

Things are looking good at 10:23 am. All auctions have bids. Today’s auction is $9 shy of retail, which is something to be thankful for. Today is the first day where a closing auction will benefit Facing Hunger Food Bank.

My eBay account is under investigation of some kind. My assumption is that this is routine and will resolve itself without my involvement. Also, perhaps a misguided thought, I think this investigation whatever is a good sign. My operation is somehow unordinary. From my perspective, that’s a good thing. I am running a willfully transparent operation. If anything I am doing needs to change, I will very quickly and happily do that. It seems as though my business stuck out to eBay artificial intelligence. Perhaps it’s then also possible that my business could be outstanding to real live people.

I pack and ship one to Illinois with two auctions in it. A repeat buyer. Blessed.

Donation total as of this morning. Looks like I can close out my time working for the Houston Food Bank with about $1,800. Good times.

Etsy

Shop the Zanfirico Harold Etsy store by clicking here. You buy, I backpack.

My Etsy is dead calm. Tepid would be a compliment. I have not posted new items in several days. The items that were posted recently are low ticket, low profit items, that don’t quickly sell (individual marble beads).

The way the world works these days, all my eggs are in the Etsy basket. Which is not commonly advisable. It is, however, my plan. Etsy for the win. If you know the smallest bit about how internet commerce works, you’ll know that this is normally regarded as a very bad position to be in. Etsy is “bring your own customers,” and I am unable to do that. So, the commerce of my life is all crickets.

There is a creative process going on around here, and its various hiccups and failings are stalling my already humble Etsy sales via inhibition of production. I have difficulty feeling logically good about my business, which makes it difficult to happily proceed with the production that feeds my business.

I need to keep on keeping on in the lampworking department. Just keep working and try to see this chapter of “nothing to list and nothing will sell anyways” through. It’s lame. Lol.

Lampworking

In a progressive future, there will be a link to photographic history or plans or some reasonable and interesting shit like that.

Ongoing experiments to try and figure out how to bring silver laden color rods into the Zanfirico process. It’s not great. Borosilicate has a large percentage of its color family in “silver colors.” These materials can propagate metals into surrounding glass giving projects an organic appearance. Speaking with normal logic and with respect to reasonable tradition, this material is highly inappropriate for Zanfirico. Sigh. Unfortunately, these are the only materials I have.

Managing adversity is the first step to reaching for opportunity. The color rod materials that I have are not great for Zanfirico. I have no way to acquire and use normal materials. I have to figure out how to make the materials I do have functional.

I’ve barked up this ugly tree in multiple chapters in my craft life. Generally, the result is brown on brown on brown. Which is not great. Silver colors respond to environmental conditions like oxygen. In this way, they change colors in the process. The way that I use these colors in the Zanfirico process means that they are never exposed to oxygen, which means they never change colors. Which means it’s always going to be brown. On brown. On brown.

I haven’t been feeling that great about my life the last few days (weeks, months, years) and currently (sustainably), things are at a place where it’s affecting my confidence and happiness behind the torch. My lampworking has been awkward and indelicate, and the results are annoyingly low quality. It’s extremely frustrating. I love this job. It’s terrible to see me mangle projects. This is the way it goes, though.

Conclusion

In reality, it was a pretty good day. In my head, sad.

Twenty-seven years of lampworking, and on this, the most recent day of my experience in glass, there is little confidence. There is much confusion and insecurity. My business is weak. My craft skills are faltering. Sales are extremely difficult to find. My ability to communicate is at its lowest point.

I’m fat, depressed, and leaning on cigarettes, coffee, and weed to see me through.

I’ve started and deleted a lot of writing like this. It’s reasonable for me to assume that I’m only talking to myself with this document. There’s no audience. Everything is so frustrating. Speaking into the dark about how my work sucks in the hope that that process might help me. Doesn’t sound logical or successful.

Maybe tomorrow.

Harold Williams "BagBowl" Cooney