D9 – Much faltering – Zanfirico Hanks

Sunday, September 13th, 2026. Studio Uncle Fish, Irmo, South Carolina.

Yesterday was grim.

I admitted again, for the 100th time, in the most drawn out and uselessly painful way, thst I need to make changes to my business and myself. Made a bunch of ugly stuff in the shop and was a stress case all day. Departed the shop lost and defeated. Woke up at 4 this morning, an absolute wreck, and went coffee and cigarettes like it was a bright idea from NASA.

Right back where I have always been.

Sipping coffee. Admiring the potential of the glass shop. Feeling confused and somehow also determined.

And stoned. Hella stoned. I had a great van bath this morning. I have some sort of hippie funk growing on my inside right thigh. Jock itch or ring worm; some homeless sad-rash looking shit. I have only witch hazel. Lol. Fucking witch hazel. And yeah, buddy, that’s how you get hella stoned at the 6am bath time. Wake up with the funk mentality and physically.

My mentality and lifestyle have given me diaper rash.

It’s okay, though, because I have witch hazel and a glass shop.

Studio Assessment

In a progressive future, there will be a link to a tour of the glass shop.

You know who’s never in a bad mood, Reball. Poor dog has torn chicken toy #3 to shreds, and it’s sad to observe. Toating around a post-apocalyptic looking mudy headless chicken like it tasted of bouleon.

The average glass shop is a living sculpture of a very specific reality. The phrase “read the room” goes deep in a glass shop. The reality here, in my now of this morning: the place is ready to go. The glass shop is perfect. The only shortcomings are within the man in the mirror.

I hang out and shoot the breeze with Derrick in the glass shop during the late morning. He did well with sales over the weekend, which is not an easy thing to do. Excellent news.

eBay Charity Auctions

After cleaning the studio, the first order of business is national service. Read about my 100% donation eBay charity auctions program, benefiting food programs around the United States, by clicking here. Link to live auctions by clicking here.

Auctions as of late morning today. There will be five auctions up at 3 pm today, and for whatever reason, this is very important to me. A full boat, I guess. One bidder bringing all prices up at the moment, closest to close at less than 1/2 of retail. So, warming but not sad-rash fighting hot.

There is nothing for me to pack and ship. There is no further word on yesterday’s negative feedback situation. There is no indication that any of the painful account issues that I’ve had in previous days with ebay are somehow crawling back to life.

All is good here. I’m moving on at noon.

Etsy

Shop the Zanfirico Harold Etsy store by clicking here. You buy, I backpack.

Today is an Etsy day. I have dread what needs doing, but not a whole lot of doubt.

I am able to pack two orders. Both takers on items that were given a 25% discount yesterday. I do not write the thank you notes because I’m not feeling it at the moment, lol. I’ll do it in the morning when I have a better attitude.

I end 114 ball bead listings. This is painful for two reasons. One, I’m out like $23 in listing fees. Two, at an average of 15 minutes each to list, I’m out 28.5 hours of my time. This was a difficult move, but it’s done.

I take each of the 114 out of their individual bags, toss their listing tags, and place the newly available bead in a tray.

To the beads I removed from Etsy, I add the inventory I have, and then work to roughly separate the mass by style.

It hasn’t been explained here, but the goal of this joint is the “production and sale of large-scale Zanfirico bead hanks to support long-term, long-distance backpacking.”

These hanks, also being called Makers Collections or possibly Collector’s Something-or-other, it’s best to think of them as bins. Boxes. This little business is looking to populate various bins with unique stuff.

I go through all the ball beads and pull anything that is acceptable to me for keeping towards these hanks.

With the remainder, I relist a small group ball beads. Any ball beads that I don’t like, I list at a 25% discount.

So, rather than having 114 items in my Ball Bead section on Etsy, I have 11. Also, I now have a “25% Discount Ball Beads” section with 5 beads.

Having deleted 114 ball bead listings, everything that was reposted has a uniform photo approach (still kinda crap photos), new propaganda images, and an abbreviated description. Pushing these changes through the rest of the store and building a working lifestyle to match is where the strategy is at the moment.

I do not finish with this crap until 8pm.

Lampworking

In a progressive future, there will be a link to photograph history or plans or some shit.

I did turn on the kiln. And then I turned it off. I’ve been a stress case all day. I don’t have it in me to work.

Conclusion

The comfort and ease that has come from my career has come from following a wave of culture. And all of that is long gone.

I’ve had a difficult time putting together the pieces of life so that I have a culture of my own strong enough to follow.

This Zanfirico Hanks situation is the closest I’ve been to having answers on paper that make sense.

It’s a far distance between what plans I have found for my life and what realities I am living. I am not who I need to be to live these plans. I need to change and grow.

There has been much failure. Thankfully, the faltering has produced food money. I need to get myself together before that luck runs out.

Zanfirico Hanks